Metempsychosis
A sci-fi epic unfolding via various vignettes -exploring life, death, and the movement of souls through time.

Updates Tuesdays (and occasionally Thursdays)

Blogs:

Bereavement Hiatus

ithidunes
Hey yall 💖 I know stuff like this isn't super important in the grand scheme of things, but I'm at a bit of a loss right now at what else I'm supposed to do right now so, defaulting to an update on the sate of my passion project, I guess? um. Updates are probably going to be pretty irregular for a while, overall... But:
  • My current plan stands to finish this current chapter, at some point. Theres about 4 pages left, one of which is halfway done already. I've been somewhat burnt out on this one for a little bit, anyways, so I don't want to force it if it isn't ready to come out yet.
     
  • I also want to rework the dialogue in the first chapter. I've never been super satisfied with it as a character introduction for the Main Human Lady and the next scene is going to be revisiting her, so, I'd like to be going onward from a solid start. I'm going to fight back the urge to mess with the art too much, and not make a habit of retconning stuff / back edits, but there might be an extra page or two added.
     
  • I'm not sure what order this will happen in, edits vs finishing up, or even what the time table for either will be. Whichever it is, I will link back to the edited pages at the start of chapter 6, to avoid any confusion and/or as a general refresher. (I'll probably be doing that for any continuing story, as the work goes on and there is more of that needed).
But yeah.

(Suicide & death discussion ahead, so feel free to skip the rest of this post. It's all purely personal stuff from here)
 

xxx


Basically, my sister killed herself this past week. I'm grateful to have the support of my family and friends, but nothing really compensates for this sort of thing. The two of us were very close, and I know that she struggled with a lot of the same things I’ve struggled with- drinking, self harm, depression, and the wild ups and downs of Borderline Personality Disorder. Paranoia. Psychosis as well- though she saw it more as a beautiful synchronicity at play in the world than as an issue- A view I worried about, but still found painfully beautiful too. We talked on the phone most nights; she was as much part of my support as I was hers, though I will admit she pulled the short stick in many of these shared issues. 
 

I know that oftentimes, when someone is starting to recover from severe depressive episodes, they are at a higher risk of suicide than when they are in the thick of it. Something to do with the higher energy & willpower from recovery allowing someone to act on all the dark thoughts they have been holding onto. Her work/life balance was very strained for a very long time, and bled with personal engagement in increasingly difficult ways. But I truly believe that her improvement contributed to her decision, as I know she had been doing so well recently. Drinking a lot less, drawing more, fighting for herself against those in her life that took advantage.
 

Despite these things that plagued her, she was truly a kind soul. Fierce and devoted to a love for the world at large, especially for the things in life that many found to be disturbing or gross. (Once, her coworkers messily killed a rat that had gotten into their restaurant, and she took it home and gave it a funeral.) Dogs loved her unconditionally, and she made friends with strangers against literally all odds. Odds like, somehow sharing a birthday with the woman she backed into at the gas station, and later going out for ice cream. (This type of situation was a regular occurrence.) Numbers were special to her, and I’m inclined to believe there is a truth to it- seemingly now whenever I think of her, I see the time is 9:59 or 10:01 or 2:22, and I still feel close to her.
 

I really don’t know what I will do without her. 
 

A lot of my inspiration for the ongoing story of Metempsychosis stemmed heavily these types of synchronicities & the fine line between it and mental health issues, and I don’t plan to change that in the wake of her passing. I think she would really enjoy where the story is going, too. So I’m not going to shelve this project in any sense, but..... it’s just going to be extra hard for a while.
 

I am not worried about my own condition worsening from this and hope that my admission of my struggles doesn't concern anyone either, as I will be carrying her light inside of me, loving for her and loving through her. Maybe it’s just the shock of it all speaking, but I feel as though her strength and hope and love is with me, our souls held tight together like a set of binary stars. Besides, I do believe we will meet again, someday... We promised to be frogs together next time, and I will hold her to that promise💖

 

Please make an effort to tell your loved ones what they mean to you, if you can. Love is the most important thing that we have and I know it is what makes the difference.

^^;

ithidunes
Sorry y'all; I'm afraid to say there won't be an update on Metempsychosis this week. I got pretty sick over the weekend, and last weeks page took a lil longer than I had expected. Tragically, the perfect storm haha

Updates will resume as normal next week! 💖

Schedule update soon...

ithidunes
I've got excellent news- I finally don't have to do an insane amount of OT at my job! (Yay!!!) While this is excellent enough in itself, I'm really glad to say that I should be getting back to 2x a week updates sometime in the near-ish future.

For the past few weeks I've just been able to get a page done a day or two before update day, and boy! That's kinda stressful lmfao. I see why people like to have the buffer pages on hand hahaaha- And, imo, the art quality hasn't been my best work, either... I think within the next few updates that should be changing though, as I've been getting back into the groove now that I have more free time. 

I'm not sure when exactly the Tues/Thurs schedual will be back on hand- I'm still building up a good amount of buffer pages rn- but if things stay good I'm hoping to get it going before the end of the month.

Fingers crossed! ??

Post Schedule - Bday!

ithidunes
Whew! Things have been kinda crazy IRL (as im sure it is for many...) so for the time being, I'm going to cut back to one page update per week. Feels like a bummer to have to do, but between OT at work and going stress crazy at home, I don't want to sacrafice page quality to meet my own (kinda brutal) deadlines at the moment...... This will likely be a temporary slowdown, and as soon as I get back 'in the groove' I'll return to tuesday and thursday updates :) 

Until then I'm going to say that the extra time to get things done to standard is my birthday present to myself, as thats coming up this next weekend. Wheeee! 

until next time~!??

New site! ?✨

ithidunes
As much of a bummer as the new smackjeeves update was, I'm super excited to be hosting with ComicFury now! Still getting the hang of the site (and making this site look pretty... lol) but its nice to have someplace to post again~

Over the next couple days, all of the old updates will finish posting, and then update schedual should return to normal: Tuesdays and Thursdays

Yay! :)